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The term "people pleaser" has become popular in our modern lexicon. A people pleaser is someone with an inherent need to please other people and receive their approval. Such individuals avoid conflict and often do not establish healthy and godly boundaries with those around them. They could even put themselves in situations that the average person would avoid, all because they don't want to upset others.
From a Christian perspective, the main problem with being a people pleaser is that the pleaser puts the happiness of people above the concerns of the Lord. In such instances, mere mortals take God's place at the center of the pleaser's heart. This becomes idolatry, with humans becoming the object of their attention in a way that God deserves. And no, we can't please God when pleasing people takes precedence.
King Saul was guilty of this. During a time of war with the Philistines, High Priest and Prophet Samuel instructed him to wait for him at Gilgal for seven days (1 Samuel 10:8). He was supposed to come and give holy offerings to the Lord before the fighting began. As the days ticked by, Saul's men became frightened, seeing that the opposing army was larger and better armed than they were. So, they began leaving.
Scared he wouldn't have enough fighters, Saul helped himself by giving the offering on his own (1 Samuel 13:9). He understood that the men needed to see the offerings made to God to gain strength and trust that God would be with them during the battle. Just as he concluded the offering, Samuel arrived (1 Samuel 13:10). And when asked why he didn't wait, Saul's first excuse was that his men were leaving (1 Samuel 13:11-12).
This desire to prioritize his men was deemed disobedient to God and "foolish," resulting in a stark judgment - he would be replaced as king (1 Samuel 13:13-14). The specific command he disobeyed was that only priests were to give offerings, not mere men (Numbers 3). Not even kings were to perform this task, as was later evidenced by the swift punishment of leprosy King Uzziah received when, in pride, he dared to step into the priestly role (2 Chronicles 26).
Christians are blessed to have Jesus as our High Priest. We must also remember that we are charged with pleasing the Lord. Forgetting this will result in sin and can have dire consequences. Apostle Paul left us wisdom we should follow in Galatians 1:10 - Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
None of us can truly serve the Lord if our objective is to please people. We will end up compromising in a way that deprives God of the glory He is to receive through our lives. When our preference is to please people and not our God, we commit idolatry, and such sinful behavior is a big deal to the Almighty. We are to worship nothing and nobody but Him, and that means nothing should take His place of priority or come anywhere close in our lives (Exodus 20:1). He does not abide spiritual adultery and considers us His bride who is to remain chaste and committed to Him alone.
When God is not our primary concern, we will lack the fear of the Lord and disobey His commands as King Saul did. This can destroy our relationship with the Lord. James 4:4 - You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. When we are friends with the world, we become God's enemy, and the repercussions are severe.
But when God is the only King over our lives, and His concerns come first, we please Him and reap the rewards of the righteous. These include fruitfulness, good health, long life, God's protection, and He extends these benefits to our loved ones and those to come - be they related to us via DNA or through the blood of the Lamb. And of course, this is not a call to be petty, or disrespectful to others in a quest to not be people pleasers. As Christians, we have standards we must maintain, and the word of God is clear that sin and sinful behavior must not rule us.
He wants us to enjoy His best, and this only happens when we yield every part of ourselves to Him, desiring to please Him, not people. His Holy Spirit will help us all, and when we cooperate, we become His children. Those in whom He is well pleased because we will do what He tells us. By God's grace, this will be our portion, IJMN, Amen. If you have put people, things, ideas, or false gods first, it is time to repent and ask God for mercy. Ask Him to make you His pleasing servant who seeks His approval alone.
As you await fellowship at Noon EST, consider reading the Altar Call below and the following previous P&P messages:
Put God's Concerns First (God's Concerns Series 1 - Mark 8:33)
Topic: Jezebel, witchcraft, occult, false gods, idols, idolatry
